The retina specialist warned me that the longer the name of the disease the less doctors know about it. That was right before he told me that I had Acute Macular Neuroretinopathy—a paracentral scotoma. Yeah. Me neither. Basically it’s a blind spot. Caused by the stoppage of blood flow to a small part of my retina (they think), no one knows why it happened, how to fix it, or if it’ll get better or worse. It’s just a blind spot. That’s all. The specialist said that eventually my brain would learn to ignore it and that I shouldn’t have any adverse effects from it. (I should have said, “My brain has learned way too much already so how can it learn one more thing?” But I didn’t.) It took three ophthalmologists to finally get to this place and, except for the last one, none of the doctors could see what I saw. Only the retina specialist, who was making an educated guess, finally found a tiny irregularity with a super sophisticated instrument that he said might be the reason I have a blind spot. So much for exact science!
It occurred to me this week that I alone have this look at the world. So what if I have an almond shaped drop-out in sight just off the center of the view in my right eye? That means that no one can see exactly what I see. And that pertains to more than just physical eyesight. Every experience, every genetic predisposition, every divine intervention is up close and personal…custom ordained just for me. I believe that this is a privilege…that God would take His time to create me physically, emotionally, and spiritually unique…not like anyone else. And that means that every taste bud, every hair follicle, and every brain cell is mine and mine alone.
Just now it occurred to me that there is more beyond what even I can see right now. Blind spots in the road ahead of me. I’m reminded of an old song recorded by the great Larnelle Harris. Here’s the chorus:
Beyond what I can see
Beyond what I can see
Though the road’s not clear
I will not fear the way He’s leading me.
So until the morning light
When my faith ends in sight
I rest assured in whom I have believed
And follow on beyond what I can see.
Yeah, I have a blind spot. And thankful for it!
Sorry about your blind spot, but glad you shared that on your blog. Your take on it is so inspirational, and I love the words to that song. Miss you! Will pray that the blind spot doesn’t get worse.