Life Is But a Blink: Family

As I write this section, I happen to be at the beach.  Nan and I have always loved going to the panhandle region of the Florida gulf coast, and it just so happens that we have stolen a few days this week to enjoy a favorite experience of ours.  

We have also taken our entire family to the beach, and many other vacation spots over the years.  Oh, the memories we have created! 

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment,

until it becomes a memory.”

Dr. Seuss 

A good friend of mine was recently talking about a musical program we were doing at church.  Her husband, and her two teenage sons were all three in the production.   She said: “our kids are going to remember this time with their dad.”   Wow, a gut check for me.  How many moments have come and gone in my life that I could’ve turned into memories?  Of course, I would only want the “good” moments, not the “bad” ones, to be remembered.  But perhaps God uses all of them, both good and bad, to teach us?

“You have taught me since I was young, O God,

and I still proclaim the wonderful things You have done.”

Psalm 71:17 (THE VOICE)

Having the privilege, the joy of being part of a family is really beyond words.  But I will attempt to use a few.   Now, for the record, you certainly can have a purposeful and blessed life without a family around you, and my heart goes out to the many people who have not had good family experiences.  But I am so very grateful to God for my chance to be a son, a husband, a dad, and the ultimate—being a “Papa.”

So to have a section of this writing focusing on the importance of well-spent time with your family seems obvious, and perhaps it is the most important topic.  But like so many things, life with your family is but a blink.  Probably the most often spoken comment about “how fast the years have flown” relates to kids.   They have just been born, you blink, and they are blowing out candles on their 1st birthday cake.  You blink again and they are starting school.  Another blink and they are getting married.

So, in my case, the years of being a dad seemed to go by mighty fast.  And fair warning, when you get to your senior adult years, like me, you wonder if you did enough, you said enough, you loved enough to really make a difference.  So, I urge you, I beg you, to give focus to this precious gift of family you have been given.  You imagine that the years you will have with your family will last a long time. 

And then you blink…

Nan shared a story with me recently.  (if I knew the author, I would give credit)   The story was about the relationship between a young boy named Jack and an older man who lived next door.  Jack had recently lost his father, and this gentlemen stepped in to make sure that a man’s influence was felt by the boy.  Their friendship lasted many years.  The older man had a small box on his desk and the young boy kept asking about what was inside.  All the man would say was “it is the thing I value most.”  Time passed, Jack grew to become a man, and the neighbor finally died. Not long after the older man passed, Jack received a package in the mail.  Upon opening it, he found the small box, and inside was a gold pocket watch.  Inscribed inside were these words: “Jack, thanks for your time.”  At that moment, Jack realized that the thing his older friend valued most was their time together. 

That is true for you, my friend.  The thing that your family values most about you is the time you spend with them.  Oh, the memories you can make—oh, the lessons you can teach—oh, the love you can show.

By the way, writing this last paragraph reminded me of a Dr. Seuss book—OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!  I actually looked it up online and reread it.  It is a fantastic book!   And it inspired me to look through all the “stuff” of life with optimism towards the future.  I highly recommend it.

“Life” seems to want to get in the way of family time.  Finding a job to make enough money, trying to spend quality/quantity time at church, kids on sports teams, after-school this followed by after-school that, etc.  Managing “life” can be exhausting, frustrating, expensive-–you get the idea.  And in the middle of all this, you are expected to “make the most of every day,” “stop and smell the roses,” and other platitudes.  But in comparison to other things in life which need our attention, there is no comparison.

“Family is not an important thing.  It’s everything.

Michael J. Fox

Being a parent, yeah, it’s about “being there” but it’s also filling a lot of roles — teacher, preacher, counselor, coach, best friend.  And being a parent doesn’t end once you hear your child saying “I do” one day.  It keeps on, changing for the circumstance, the need.  

I am hoping that if you are a parent, or grand-parent, you have developed some core beliefs on many issues.  If you plan to be involved in the molding and shaping of a young life, you better have solid opinions on life’s tough discussions.  For me, God’s Word is a “lamp unto my feet” and a “light unto my path.”  I was taught this by my parents, and by my church upbringing.  I am humbled and grateful for this guidance.

Therefore, the opinions of the culture around me, the opinions of my friends, etc. have to withstand the litmus test of scripture.  God’s Word is my guide.  The opinions of others do not matter in comparison.   They can be sincere, but they can be sincerely wrong.

So, what do you do with this world we live in?  In so many ways, it is perverse, out of control, and very interested in pulling you and me, and our precious families into its snare.  I beg you to form a firm opinion about what is right and wrong, and as I have stated, I think that opinion should be centered on God’s Word.  It is fascinating how wrong is promoted as right by our culture, and somehow we are supposed to feel shame if we disagree with a person’s aberrant behavior and choices.  Your family, your children especially, will know people who sincerely believe that their wrong choices are right.  Just because a person says “this is honestly how I feel” does not make it right.   Find a way to have honest family conversations about this important matter.

“Stand for what is right.  Even if it means standing alone.”

Suzy Kassem

Joshua dealt with this subject in chapter 24 of the book of Joshua.  In the beginning of the chapter he reviewed the past history of Israel, and how God had lovingly provided for them.  He also recounted their bad past decisions during some of those years. following false teachings and gods.  But then he offers an option to them: if you don’t agree that it is right to serve the Lord, then choose for yourselves today whom you will serve.  And he adds his own personal testimony: “but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I think it is interesting that Joshua’s death closely followed this teaching moment with his people.  But it also mentions in scripture that the nation of Israel served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who survived Joshua.  I am sure that, like you and me, Israel strayed many times.  But Joshua stood firm in his beliefs, and his influence was felt.

Your influence to your family will also be greatly felt.  How are you helping them hold firmly to the Truth of God’s Word?  How are you helping them “speak the Truth in love?”  How can you help your family to not just disagree with another’s actions, but to help them find a better path?

Again, I beg you—teach your children, and your entire family, well.  They must have a solid value system.  They need a compass as they sail the rough seas of life.

Your opportunity, your chance to influence, will pass like a blink.