Wednesday was tough.
After almost a year of having the grandkids and their parents living with us, the book closed on that chapter of our lives when we put them all on a plane where they will spend the next three months traveling and working in Europe. After that, they plan to move back to California.
As the day of their departure grew closer, I wanted more and more to drink in each moment we had left with them. I would watch the kids play, watch them eat, even watch them watch TV. Finally, 2-year-old Crosby had had enough. He pointed a chubby finger at me and said, “Nana, stop it!” “Stop what?” I asked. “Stop seeing me!”
So I did…but not until the sight of them faded past the security line at the airport.
Watching them go was like ripping a band-aid off extremely tender skin. The initial hurt was the worst but there’s still a lingering ache that I’m sure will last for a while.
There was a song very popular during World War II called “I’ll Be Seeing You”. It was one of the songs in the musical revue I was in at Six Flags Over Georgia in the summer of ’74. (It was backstage at this show that I first met Dennis.) I loved this song then and it’s come flooding back to my mind this week for some reason. Anyway, the lyrics go:
I’ll be seeing you;
In all the old, familiar places;
That this heart of mine embraces;
All day through
In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children’s carousel;
The chestnut tree;
The wishing well.
I’ll be seeing you;
In every lovely, summers day;
And everything that’s bright and gay;
I’ll always think of you that way;
I’ll find you in the morning sun;
And when the night is new;
I’ll be looking at the moon;
But I’ll be seeing you.
I can resonate with the feeling. Yeah, I can still see “my babies” in the handprints on glass doors. (I can’t seem to find time to erase those.) I can see them in the smudges on the walls where we tried to undo crayon scribbles. (Somehow I can’t get around to painting over them.) I can see them in the sticky spots on the kitchen floor where apple juice was spilt. (I figure those can wait.)
They may be gone but they are still everywhere. Sorry, Crosby, I’ll be seeing you for a long, long time.
Thanks for sharing your heart. Glad that you have been able to spend some precious every day times with your family during this past year. To help you not feel so all alone during this transition time Virginia and I will come and live with you and hopefully that will help you to adjust – just knowing that we care. Thinking of you, Jerry & Virginia
My heart hurts with you. Grandchildren are a special blessing of getting older.
Thank you Lord for planning it this way.
That made me cry and cry and still sniffing. Can’t believe I feel in love with these kids in the few weeks I have spent with them. Not sure I could be as philisophical if they were my grandkids but I will continue to pray for your strength. I’m going to miss them too.
My grandson (9months) lives next door. I cannot image that day that they will move away. This made me cry!!! I know what an honor it is to get to see him every day…to watch him grow, laugh, crawl-then-try to walk….ah! I cherish every moment. Thanks Nan!
This Grammy couldn’t agree more! My two precious grands, ages 6 and 10, are the apple of my eye and the center of my heart. My grandson participated in the Fun Run at school and asked me to make a pledge. I couldn’t get the checkbook fast enough! My response? “How much do you want, darlin’? How much do you want? Anything for the grandbabies!
I hope your next post is about your favorite jokes or something ’cause I can’t take much more of this! I’m hurting for you guys and I’m not even a grand parent! (It’s the “hand prints on the glass door” that got me)